My heart is in my needs?

i feel my heart gets in and out of things very easily, and so i now realized it is in where the need is... so i thought of volunteering with kids for a long time... but i never cud... and then recently i joined a place luckily i got excited... but soon the excitment went a way and then i didnt gort for the whole week... then i got a kick again and i went on this time i got into a class and there in the class i spotted a kid i ***** get my eyes off... he resembled like my nephew and i got feelings for him juts like my nephew... and i felt may be he cud give me ample reason to keep coming to school , and i felt in urge to protect him and ensure the teacher wasnt harsh with him and he wasnt hurt by teachers remark and other kids wernt pulling him down... and when i felt he is a happy kid who isnt so sensitve and can easily take care of himself i felt better yet to protect and ensure i be with him and let no harm come was strong... but yesterday i as a part of the plan sat in the other class and felt the boredom coming again... as if i ***** feel anything for any kid and i felt they can be good without me... today i didnt go and feel my xcitement as gone down... and i feel may be i wills top caring for that kid too...this is how i take everything... i left a highly paying job cuz i didnt like mingling with ppl there... or even feel the need for the work i was doing, i felt it wasnt adding value to anyones life and i am better off without it... now i feel the only way i can volunteer in the school is if i am only in the class where that kid studies so i cud gain some love and happiness asi work there...